So one of the biggest relationship challenges these days is finding a Netflix series that you both like, and both haven't seen yet. For the past week, this was 13 reasons why (which has only 13 episodes, so we'll have to look for something else now...). I didn't realise how popular the series is until the memes and articles started to appear on my Facebook timeline; clearly, this series struck a note with more people.
So what is it about? A high school teenager, Hannah Baker, has killed herself. But before she did, she recorded 13 tapes with 13 reasons why she committed suicide. And those 13 reasons are 13 people, the 13 people who get the tapes, listen to them, and then send them to the next person on the list. The story starts when Clay Jensen receives the tapes, because he is one of Hannah's reasons. Clay is amazed that all the other people on the tape haven't bothered to come forward with some compelling evidence of crimes (minor and major), but of course, he too listens to the tapes in order or there would have been no series.
This series was pretty mesmerising; the first tapes are about some minor things, and you start to wonder whether Hannah is just a big drama queen if she killed herself for some stupid teenage mishaps. But there are references to bigger, more serious things, and with each tape the reasons get heavier and heavier. The images are pretty graphic (the last 4 episodes come with a viewer warning), and at some point I found myself wondering whether what I was watching was still actually suitable for teenagers. Despite the graphic material it most definately is, for it serves as one big warning against the destructive behaviour teenagers can wreck amongst their peers; slut shaming, gay shaming, sending nude pictures around, but also more serious crimes as assault, theft, and rape. The school ('Liberty High') is one of the most stereotypical American high school since Grease; the jocks and cheerleaders are at the top of the pecking order, and everybody else is a loser, a nerd, a weirdo, or a combination of all three. But finding themselves in a perilous situation draws kids from several groups together, and the series gives great insight into the thought processes of these characters; will they be loyal to the group, or will they throw somebody under the bus just to save their own skin?
In a similar vein, but of much lower quality (both in plot and acting) was the film I saw last week; Before I fall. This could best be described as 'Groundhog Day set in yet another stereotypical American highschool'; one of the most popular girls does nothing as one of her classmates is bullied and ultimately commits suicide, and as penance she has to relive the day over and over again, until she realises how she can get out of it. Yet again, almost every character except for the main character was pretty unlikeable; the popular girls are mean backstabbers, the popular guys are entitled drunks, and the unpopular kids are so weird and desocialized that it is almost impossible to feel sorry for them. On the bright side; both stories do contain a likeable friend character who stands by the protagonist even when things get tough.
(On a sidenote; both 13 reasons why and Before I fall are based on books. It feels like it is almost impossible to find a film or series based on an actually original story anymore; to play it safe, to be assured of good returns, production companies seem fixed on only pouring money in projects in those projects that have already been successful on paper.)
So looking back on both, I am in doubt; is this good watching material for teens? The message is pretty clear, but does it work out that way? If I had watched these series when I was around 15, I would probably have identified with the nerdy smart kids, mainly because there are no 'normal' teenagers in these series. Everything is black-and-white; you are either a very popular sporty type, or a non-popular loser type. Most teenagers will identify with the second category. What these stories tell us, is that you can only act and influence the story line when you are with the popular crowd, or when you are prepared to make yourself very unpopular and break all social norms. Helping someone and just being a 'normal' person is practically impossible. So most characters stay on the sideline, knowing what is going on but not acting, afraid of being called out, of becoming a loser, of losing their reputation. The main characters in both the series and the film do act, of course, or they wouldn't be the protagonist, but it has pretty devastating consequences for both of them. Easier to be an onlooker, to not get involved, to stay safe. Not really the message angsty teens should be getting, in my opinion.
Let's hope that the overly stereotypical depiction of high school will help teenagers who watch this stories realise that the characters, their actions, and the results are overly black-and-white too, and that in real life it is possible to help someone without falling down the social ladder into loser-zone. Otherwise, series and films like these generate exactly the opposite effect of what they intend to do.
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